MY HUSBAND BECAME A SUSPECT the night I woke up and met him conversing with some strange woman on the phone.
For goodness sake, the hour of the night was too ungodly for a married man to be completely lost in a conversation so deep that he didn't even notice I was awake.
I strained my ear to attend to even a bit of what the harlot was dishing to my husband, but I couldn't comprehend anything. This triggered the anger in me.
I could not hold myself any longer. I tapped my husband and he leaped, startled. It was written all over his face that he was up to something.
Immediately, he ended the call. I sat up, looking at him for some minutes. My look told him I was waiting for an explanation, so, he cleared his throat.
"Baby, it was a business call. Nothing more," he said, trying to hold my hand.
I could be anything but stupid to know that the call was more than a business call. I mean, what kind of business call would one make by 2:00AM. that couldn't wait till daybreak?
And to think of, this wasn't the first time he was doing this. The other day, I woke up by midnight to ease myself, only to find my husband in the toilet, comfortably laughing with his phone stuck to his ear.
I breathed in and out, shut my eyes for a while and opened it, hoping to feel better. But I didn't. I couldn't pretend to be fine when my husband was obviously cheating on me.
"I knew all along that you have been cheating on me. If I wasn't good enough for you, why did you marry me just to frustrate me? You aren't just a cheat, you are a lier. I have caught you talking to your mistress on several occasions, but you kept denying it. What exactly do you want from this marriage?" I asked him.
He went on his knees and begged me, still standing his ground that he wasn't cheating on me and never thought of doing it. I didn't believe him.
I became fond of accusing my husband of cheating on me each time he got home late from work. I even went as far as harassing his secretary, the day I saw him hanging out with her in an eatery. I concluded she was the one he was always on calls with at nights.
My anger was that he denied all of these accusations. He kept telling me I had insecurity problem and it would only be solved the day I started trusting him.
But I didn't see that day coming. He was too fond of ladies and I was not okay with it. My husband was a very friendly and nice man who didn't mind helping people, whatsoever.
I was not okay with this, especially if the person involved was a woman. I didn't condemn the fact that he had the heart of helping, I just wasn't comfortable with him helping ladies too. Especially the beautiful ones.
I decided to get a house help because of my kind of job. I made sure the maid was very ugly so that my husband wouldn't even think of doing anything with her.
The girl was about twenty years old. I was impressed because she was very hardworking. My husband and I treated her like our child, though I still was not okay with his kindness towards her.
I didn't actually want him to maltreat her, but I didn't want him to be nice to her either. I just didn't want any familiarity. Hence, I warned her to stay out of my husband's way.
I even gave her a paper containing the rules and regulations she needed to oblige if she must stay with us. One of which was that she should not enter our bedroom if I wasn't at home and my husband was.
She was a good girl. She followed my rules, but then, I still wasn't okay. My husband was too nice to her and I didn't like it.
One evening when I came back from work, I entered the room and found my husband on the bed, sweating. I didn't bother greeting him.
I rushed to my house maid's room and also found her on her bed, sweating. She was even on wrapper.
She stood up and welcomed me very calmly. I asked her why she was sweating, she told me she just finished cleaning up the kitchen and was tired, hence she decided to rest a little.
I left her and went back to my husband. When I asked him what he did that made him all sweaty, he said he just finished working out for the evening.
I didn't even bother thinking twice because I didn't believe any of what my husband or my housemaid said, I concluded they had been having an affair behind me.
All I wanted was for my husband to accept that he had been cheating on me. But he denied. The more he denied, the angrier I got. I ended up sending the house help away.
One day, I was preparing to go to work, but then I realized that my husband wasn't getting ready for work. He didn't even look like he had plans of stepping out. And he did not wish me a happy birthday.
"Aren't you going to prepare for work?" I asked him.
"Nope. I wanna wait so you could go out," he replied, very calmly.
"Why?" I asked.
"I wanna bring a woman to the house. I wanna cheat on you," he said, much to my shock.
I flared up. I did not even as much as asked him why he had to tell me, I just flared up!
"I said it! I knew it! My suspicions were right after all. So, you have been cheating on me all these while and kept denying. It has even gotten to the point of you telling me to my face that you want to cheat on me..."
"Isn't this what you have always wanted to hear from me? Your anger has always been that I denied accepting the fact that I have been cheating on you.
So, why are you so dramatic now that I have finally accepted? You should be very happy and relieved. In fact, all my life as your husband, I have been cheating on you.
I have been sleeping with all of those ladies you suspected. I have had an affair with Lizzy, Uche, Jessica, Tega, Annabelle, Bimpe, Esther, Cassandra, Amina, Imaobong, name them! I have slept with all of them," he paused and looked at me.
"No, you are lying..." I said, already in tears, but he interrupted me
"Oh! I'm lying? What exactly do you want to hear? You have always wanted me to accept cheating on you. I have finally accepted it, why are you now doubting? What exactly am I lying about?"
I was speechless. At that point, I didn't really know what I wanted to hear from husband. I didn't want to hear that he had been cheating on me. I didn't as well want to hear that he wasn't cheating on me because of his late night calls and his jovial relationship with women.
"Go to work. I'm waiting for you to go. I want to have an intimate affair with my secretary. She's on her way here," he said again.
Right there, I fell sick. I was speechless and did not know what to do. I didn't bother cleaning the tears from my eyes.
I walked absentmindedly to the sitting room, only to see my husband's secretary sitting comfortably on the couch. Such guts! He really meant it. He was going to cheat on me with his beautiful secretary.
I calculated how I was going to deal with her. I imagined stabbing her with knife. The fear of killing her gripped me, so I discarded the idea.
I thought of hitting her head on the wall or biting the hell out of any part of her body I could lay my teeth on. While still imagining, someone tapped me on my shoulder.
"Good morning Ma'am, are you alright?" It was my husband's secretary. Lord!
Just as I was about bringing to reality all what I had imagined doing to her, the door opened. I was agape when I saw my friends, colleagues, family members and my husband's friends and colleagues rushing into the house.
In unison, they all screamed "Happy birthday!" to me. That was when I remembered that it was actually my birthday.
My husband then came out of the room, smiling. His secretary brought in a magnificent and extremely beautiful cake. I was speechless.
"This was my reason for the late night calls. I was planning to give you a befitting birthday surprise. Hence, I needed the help of some of my wonderful female colleagues to get everything in place for you.
My secretary was the one who anchored the surprise party. I have never in my life cheated on you. I married you because I wanted to spend every single moment of my life with you and not with your housemaid or any of those women you suspected.
I love you so much, Temi. Only that you do not trust how much I love you and it is very bad and unhealthy for our marriage. When you kept talking about me cheating on you even when I didn't, you installed that idea in me and if I wasn't so determined to love you alone, I would have made plans of actualizing your suspicions.
When you keep accusing your man of cheating on you when he's struggling to stay faithful to you, you stand a chance of losing him because you will give him ideas on what he never planned of.
On this day, I wish you realize that after love, trust and understanding are the two basic ingredients for a successful relationship. I wish you level up your trust in me. Happy birthday Temi," my husband concluded.
***
Note: There are spouses and there are faithful spouses. Do not use your hands to scatter your relationship. Instead of pushing them away with your actions and frequent suspicions, there are so many ways of solving insecurity problems in relationships.
Build your home, don't scatter it. In case you didn't know, there are so many desperate home breakers waiting for you to have issues like this so they could come in and break your home completely for you. Do not use your hands to scatter your home. Build it in love and wisdom. Be wise.
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