Remember the encounter I told you Ene and I had with two stubborn dogs on our way back from choir rehearsal one evening?
Well, after I was chased till my skirt bursted and exposed my underwear with self-made holes, causing my crush to laugh at me, Ene came again yesterday.
After my last encounter, I had told her that there was nothing that'd make me take any unknown bush path with her again.
She promised me that we weren't taking any unknown bush path this time around. I asked her where we were going to, she said she wanted to spy on her brother who she suspected, was seeing one girl she never liked, in a particular uncompleted building, every evening.
I asked her why she wanted me to go with her. She said she wanted a witness, in case he denies it when she reports him to their parents.
Well, Ene was my friend, so, I decided to go with her. I had stitched my skirt and underwear, so somehow, I was ready for this particular adventure, even though I didn't know how adventurous it'd turn out.
That evening, Ene came and called me, so we left. The uncompleted building was in a scary looking isolated bush. The bush paths leading to the building looked even more scarier than the one we took the first time.
"Ene, this bush is scary o. Are you sure your brother really comes to this uncompleted building?" I asked her when we finally got to the building.
"Yes, I am one hundred percent sure! In fact, I saw when he left the house. I heard the call he made with that Ogbanje. He told her to come here so that they'd meet as usual. Let's climb up, I'm sure they're up there in one of those rooms," Ene said.
And so, we climbed up the building and started peeping into the rooms. I didn't notice that Ene had gone a separate way in the course of looking for her brother and his lover.
The rooms were many, so I decided to explore them, partially forgetting my purpose of being there. It was getting dark, but we weren't really bothered.
While walking on, I heard a noise from one of the rooms. I concluded that Ene's brother was there, so I tiptoed and peeped into the room. I didn't see anyone but a mountain of faeces inside a bowl. The smell was so unbearable that I had to cover my nose with my hand.
Just as I was about stepping back, someone covered my face from behind. I couldn't think of anyone, but Ene.
"Ene, abeg remove your hands from my face joor, they stink. Obviously, your brother and his girlfriend aren't here and it's getting dark. Let's go," I said.
"Yes my wife, let's go inside for our honeymoon. I prepared a very delicious food for you. It's inside the bowl. Let's go inside for our honeymoon," It was a masculine voice. That was when I knew that this particular adventure was going to be tougher than the previous.
I swallowed hard and began to sweat from my head down to my feet. I had no idea who was holding me. I decided to try my luck.
"Ene, is it you? Please stop this rough play na," I said in a shaky voice.
"Oh baby, you are so romantic. It is me, your husband. I cooked for you, let's go for our honeymoon. Let's go and eat," he said again.
I breathed in and violently pushed his hands away. Then boom! It was a mad man. His hair was unkempt, like he hadn't combed it for ages.
His face was rough and scary. He stunk like he hadn't had a bath for decades. He was naked, stark naked! His teeth were a mixture of brown and black colours.
He made to hold my hand, but I took to my heels and he ran after me. I ran as fast as my legs could carry, jumping everything jumpable.
I never knew I had such a speed in me because I'm sure I ran faster than I did on my first adventure. I was screaming Ene's name while running, but couldn't see or hear from her.
I successfully ran downstairs and into the bush path. This naked mad man pursued me with all his strength, not minding his big bell that was helplessly slamming up and down.
He kept shouting that I should follow him to his room for honeymoon, that I was his wife. I ran till I got to the first house after the bush path.
I forgot completely that the man that owned that house had five big turkeys parading the compound. It was when I ran into the compound that I realized that the mad man had stopped chasing me. He had probably gone back, so I thought.
Without bothering to look around, I sat on one of the stones outside the house to relax before heading home because I was extremely exhausted.
Just when I thought I was done with my adventure, I saw five huge turkeys walking toward me like soldiers. They were so scary that I started pleading the blood of Jesus to take control.
Their faces were red, like I was an intruder. When I looked around but didn't see anyone in the compound, I knew if I didn't do something, I'd be a dead meat in no time.
I looked around and saw a big stick beside me. The mistake I made was to carry the the stick and sway it in defense. Lord! These evil spirits called turkeys chased me.
I didn't know when I threw the stick away and ran outside the compound. They pursued me till I got to the road, then, they went back.
I didn't stop. I kept running till once again, I saw Wills, my crush. This time, I was glad that my skirt hadn't bursted neither was my underwear torn or exposed.
I quickly stopped running and gave a very deep breath before he got to where I was. I wondered why he was always showing up whenever I was in a bad state.
The days I wore my most beautiful attires, he would never show up, but once some evil spirits connive to chase me, that's when he'd come out of the blues and speak English to me! Nonsense and ingredient!
"Ima, what's up?" He said. Awwn, he looked so handsome and smelled really nice.
Just when I was about to tell him I was fine, he gave that same awkward, annoying smile that got me wondering what he had noticed this time around.
"Are those poo stained on your slippers?" He asked, covering his nose with his hand.
I slowly looked down at my slippers and realized that truly, my slippers were stained with poo. I blinked back tears of frustration from my eyes and walked home without even looking back at him. Couldn't he just pretend not to notice it? Idiot! In fact, I uncrushed and discrushed on him that day, rubbish!
Once again, I got home and met Ene sitting outside. She was sweating like she was being roasted with fire. I first got very angry with her, but when I realized that it seemed she also had an interesting adventure, I decided to ask her what happened.
"The mad man came back for me. I didn't know when I jumped from up the building and landed on another mad man. They were two. I don't know how I got home, but I just got home," Ene narrated.
I sat beside her and realized I couldn't even get angry with her. When I narrated my own adventure to her, we both threw our heads back and began to laugh at our stupidity.
I call it stupidity because we realized her brother was in his lover's house, enjoying all the while Ene and I were suffering at the uncompleted building.
Start your new month with laughter because it's my birth month!😁
April 7th is the code!😊
Happy New Month buddies!
#YourFavouriteStoryTeller✍️