Ama jumped up as if she just got electrocuted by the couch.

"Oga, good morny... sorry good evening sir" She stuttered, cleaning her eyes with her cloth.

"How many times do I have to warn you not to sleep on my couch with your stinky body! Didn't I give you a room or have you messed it up to the extent that you can't sleep there anymore?" Richard asked angrily.

"Oga, I'm sorry o. I been dey clean the.. em... ca.. cawush o, I no even know how I take fall asleep. Abeg no vex oga, na the weather cause am"

"Will you shut up! Which weather? That is how you will go and open your legs for a man, come back pregnant and blame it on the weather. 
What is this generation even turning into? 

Why can't youths think of ways to make this country a better place rather than being lazy and rapidly  increasing the number of citizens by unnecessarily giving birth to children they can't cater for?" He asked rhetorically.

Turning to Ama, he screamed

"Will you get your smelling body out of here and take your bath! Make sure you scrub that your ampits and genitals very well and use enough body spray before you kill me with bad smell. Useless girl"

Ama ran into her room and shut the door behind her.

Richard rushed to the guest toilet, brought the air freshener and sprayed it all over the sitting room.

"What kind of useless house girl is this? If she doesn't forget to bath, she'll forget to brush, if she doesn't forget to brush, she'll forget her entire self" He soliloquized.



Richard got to his large and sophisticated kitchen, only to realize that there was no single beverage in the kitchen cabinet. 

He screamed Ama's name authoritatively and she came, running with just her wrapping tied carelessly around her body. 

It was obvious she just finished taking her bath because she was no longer stinking, though traces of soap were shown in her two ears.

"Oga I'm here" She quickly arranged her wrapper

"Where are my beverages?"

"Oga, dem dey dia"

"Have I told you not to be speaking broken English in my house?"

"I'm sorry oga. Them are deying there" Ama said, carrying a serious face.

"Come and show me" He ordered, shifting away from the cabinet to give her space.

 Ama opened the cabinet, looked into it for a second, before turning to Richard.

"Ehi oga! I'm very sorry. I forget to tell you that the be...befreshes were finish the day you invite you friends and toled me to make tea for all of them. I'm sorry sir, I'm very sorry"
Ama said, bending her knees over and over again.

Richard was speechless. He needed something very hot that evening, because the weather was extremely cold, and coffee was his favorite.

Not minding the heavy rain, he took his car key and went to the garage.

The next minute, he was out of the magnificent compound.
**

Ama looked through the window to be sure that Richard was out of sight, then she went and sat on the dining chair and started soliloquizing.

"This my oga sef enh... person no fit just close eyes small for this house? 

Every minute, Ama! Every second, Ama! Wetin! Na me tell you say make you no marry? 

Your mama don tire to beg you to marry, but you dey complain say no girl dey perfect enough for you. Shaa, na because say you fine, you come get plenty money join, na im make you dey crititise all the women wey come your way. 

If you dey confuse on who to marry, oga, Ama dey here for you o." 

She paused, stood up, and walked majestically, arranging her torn wrapper.

"I'm beauriful na. I'm too beauriful, I no deserve all these small small boys like that useless gate man wey  resemble chimpanzee. I deserve fine boys like my oga..."

"Ama wetin you dey talk for mouth?"

Eze, the short and plump looking gate man who had been watching her without her notice asked.

Ama jumped up in shock and turned to him, angrily.

"Wetin bring you come here? You no get respect abi?"

"If you know what is good for you, better get back to your chores and stop letting the devil to use your sense for you, mumu" Eze said, mockingly.

"Na you be mumu! In fact, na your entire generation be mumu. Olodo! Useless man!" 
Ama shouted back, but Eze had already gone back to his duty post.

**

Richard stopped by a supermarket to get the beverages and other things he felt he'd need.

He took the shopping cart  and rolled down to where he could get the beverages.

He was finally done shopping. After his provisions were packaged, he walked outside hastily since it was late already.

Richard bumped into a lady who was about entering the supermarket.

"I'm so sorry" the lady muttered, regaining her balance.

"Oh no, I should be the one to apologize. I'm sorry" Richard said.

"Okay... I'll just..."

"Jennifer!" Richard called out all of a sudden

"Seriously! Richard, is this you?" OMG! This must be a dream". Jennifer said, jumping into his arms.

Photo Credit: Dreamstime.com

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